Why do women lie about dating
Once we were both sober, we talked and he told me (again) that he wasn’t sure about being a couple. I have been content with this, but recently several friends have told me that Steve talks about having feelings for me when he is drunk. Should we have a conversation about our feelings again? You interpret your friends’ statements and his mixed-messages to mean that he is coming on to you, and so you dive in. If he is interested in you, he is going to have to deal with you directly.
DEAR CONFUSED: If you tried to drunkenly kiss “Steve” and he didn’t drunkenly kiss you back, then he is not attracted to you.
If we all wore our hearts on our sleeves, or rather, our lies on our faces, the world would be a more interesting place.
Whether it’s for the better or worse is up for debate. According to a University of Massachusetts study, 60 percent of adults can’t go 10 minutes in a conversation without lying at least once. Women lie to make someone else feel good and men generally lie to make themselves look better.
They are politely trying to let you off the hook by giving you a version of, “It’s not you, it’s me.” You respond to this politeness by aggressively calling them out, immediately letting these women know they made the right choice. And, by the way, many women are in fact “not those kinds of girls.” These are people who wait to know someone before they become sexually intimate. A mutual friend told me that Steve is too shy to openly confess his feelings for me, so last year I told him that I had romantic and sexual feelings for him.
This wisdom protects them from complicated encounters with people like you. He said he was not sure of his feelings for me, but thought I was “cute.” We went out drinking and he took me back to his place. He was shocked and said he hoped I didn’t think he was trying to “come on” to me.
DEAR SAM: If you approached this with more respectful humility and less angry swagger, you might — just possibly — get lucky. You are probably correct that when women tell you “I’m not that kind of girl,” they are being disingenuous.
That doesn’t mean you start pointing fingers and losing your mind.
“Some people are naturally more fidgety than others, and it might have nothing to do with you,” Jones adds.
Your worries could be stemming from insecurity—especially if a previous girlfriend lied to you before (and not just a little white lie, but dropped a full-blown bomb).
You may be on high alert and have extra anxiety from being deceived in the past, but you don't want to ruin a relationship by constantly questioning her motives and actions.